Ever wondered what the world would be like if you were actually FROM Utah??? Well, here is a list of things that native Utahans know, and other just have to learn over time:
· Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange.
· You can pronounce Tooele.
· The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.
· You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
· You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month.
· You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".
· Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.
· Hunting season is a school holiday.
· The largest liquor store is the state government.
· You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.
· 30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable.
· Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist.
· You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.
· The elevation exceeds the population
· You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you
· You can see the stars at night
· You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever."
· You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.
· Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding.
· You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
· Your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out.
· Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon.
· You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
· Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.
· You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.
· You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.
· At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
· You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant.
· You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway.
· There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
· You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.
· You negotiate prices at a garage sale.
· You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
· You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.
· You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
· Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
· A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
· Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit.
· Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
· You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic."
· Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.
· You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
· You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
· You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
· You're on your own if you are turning left.
· Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season.
· People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.
· There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.
· The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.
· People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery.
· In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
· Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday.
· You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building.
· The cost of living rises while your salary drops.
· Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.
· When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard.
· Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.
· Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.
· "Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check.
· More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.
· You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door.
· Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from.
· You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.
· You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.
· Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.
· Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.
· You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.
· You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
· You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment.
· You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.
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